I just knew what my next step was. Samford University. It made sense and I had peace about it. I was so certain about this that I was only pursuing moving forward with Samford until one day the door closed financially and I was devastated. After getting over the fact that I wouldn’t be going to Samford and choosing to look past the fear, I decided to apply to and move forward with other similar colleges. Of the four others I tried, either it would fail financially or I wouldn’t have peace and couldn’t move forward. And every single time another one failed, I would become more and more discouraged.
Tuesday, April 18 was the day of my breaking point. After crying everyday for a few weeks, I went to school that day and couldn’t even go to class. I was so heartbroken, confused, and scared that I went to counseling three times in one day when I had never been to one ever before. It was at that point that I realized that I had been the one in control of my life when God is supposed to be. It wasn’t until after I relinquished control to Him that I randomly found the website for the World Race that night.
After looking through it for hours, I woke up the next morning and applied, before my parents even knew it was a program. My dad was at school for a finance meeting that day and I couldn’t wait to tell him so I found him on campus and said, “Dad, I think I know what I’m going to do. I’m going to do mission work for nine months in four different countries. Have a good meeting!” I went home to tell my mom the same news, not knowing that she had gone to a sex trafficking luncheon that day. Through the chaos of telling them both, they still felt peace about it.
While I had found what I was going to do, it was still hard for me to accept. All of my friends were picking out dorms, finding roommates, and signing up for orientations. It was so hard to be happy for all of them when that was what I wanted but couldn’t get. I’m about to enter into a phase alone with nothing more than a backpack, passport, and a heart to serve. And I couldn’t be happier because I know this is what the Lord has had planned for me this whole time. Through that, I will be taking on this adventure with excellence and to please Him and only Him. So every penny I receive isn’t going into what I’m doing with my life, but to what God is doing with my life.
I really hate change and I like to be in control. So here I am, with a big change on the way and absolutely no control over it. But since I’ve started to listen to the Lord’s voice and move forward with this, I’ve found peace in the most random ways, confirmations everywhere, and doors opening constantly. It’s crazy what the Lord can do when you simply present open hands.
